Why I... fight domestic abuse
"Victims of domestic abuse often don’t know what they’re doing today or whether they might survive next week, let alone into retirement in 20 years."
Ten years ago, I was given a bank of clients, including an organisation I’d never heard of, called Dash.
I went to see the staff to talk about pensions and quickly realised it wasn’t a typical company where people think about themselves – they were dedicated to helping people escape from domestic violence.
They told me some horrific stories about the people they looked after and it made me think I’d like to help.
My job is helping people recognise the choices they have but victims of domestic abuse may feel they have no choices at all. They don’t know what they’re doing today or whether they might survive next week, let alone into retirement in 20 years.
First, I ran a half marathon for them, then the New York Marathon and that raised some money – but I also wanted to raise awareness. So I started training with my branded charity vest and promoted them on social media. Now I’m being used as an advocate to talk about them and to introduce them to fundraising strategies.
Financial planners are used to talking about tough subjects, like death but people in general don’t want to talk about domestic abuse because it’s hard. Women suffer the more extreme violence – but it affects men, women and children.
Domestic abuse is not just about violence, it’s about control and living in fear of violence. In relationships, it can build up over a very long time. Slowly, a person’s choices can be reduced – choice over who they can see, where they can go, what they can wear.
Then there is the financial aspect – if someone can’t buy something or travel somewhere because they have no access to money or no awareness of the money in the relationship, that can also be abuse.
It’s important that financial advisers see both parties in a couple; that they don’t just see one and assume the other is being looked after or doesn’t care. It could be that there’s control in that relationship or abuse or one party doesn’t want the other involved in the planning. If a financial adviser suspects abuse, they should find their local domestic abuse charity and talk to them.
Helping charities isn’t always only about raising money. I’m launching a ‘virtual running club’, which will encourage people to stop advertising brands like Adidas and Nike when they’re training and wear charity vests instead to raise awareness for causes. I’m also helping the fundraising team at Dash understand corporate CSR policies so they can engage with businesses and understand the opportunities. Finally, I’m helping Dash understand the mindset of potential donors, wealthy individuals and trusts.